Yesterday was a humbling day, to say the least. I received an extended text message from a brother in Christ prior to going to work that read:
“…in a place where two ways met-Mark 11:4-lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of revelations…-2 Corinthians 12:7. The Lord said to ask you ‘what are you praying?’ it is a rhetorical question that you need to answer-Matthew 5:20-to brush it off is to be arrogant-1 Peter 5:6. Do as the Word says and follow the Spirit and your way shall be made well.”
As I meditated on the scriptures and asked the Holy Spirit to makes all things clear, the picture that was painted was not a pretty one. God began to show where I have been arrogant in my thoughts and actions and how I “thought more highly of myself than I ought”. I did not have time to get quiet before the Lord and deal with these things due to work but it never left my mind. I still had to teach the youth that evening and I had most of the message together. As I went through the day one line from Jason Upton’s Dying Star kept repeating in my head, “you’re full of pride”.
After getting off work, I stopped by the house and then headed straight to the church to pray and prepare. As I laid on the altar, it was extremely difficult to pray and found myself laying in mostly silence. As service began, I felt partially confident in the word I was to deliver to the youth. (that’s how I feel every Tuesday and rely on the Spirit to teach through me) but tonight was different. My demeanor was quiet most of the day due to the above text and what God had revealed so far but it was like I just cut on a switch prior to teaching and I was able to teach as if nothing was going on. In my mind the message went well, I hit my points, had good examples, good conclusion. At one point in my message I was listening to myself teach and realized there was no life my word. It was like Sampson in his assumption that he would just shake off the ropes as before but this time didn’t realize the Spirit had departed.
“He awoke from his sleep and thought, ‘I’ll go out as before and shake myself free.’ But he did not know that the Lord had left him.” Judges 16:20
So there I was teaching a message that could only makes sense when backed by the Holy Spirit and He was not there.
We rarely finish before the adults but on this night we did so I was able to catch the end of pastor’s message and that service. As he was concluding his message the atmosphere began to shift. During this shift I clearly heard the Lord speak to me and say, “I don’t need you.” Then what happened next was his sign. In the recent past I had thought of everything that wasn’t going on that I thought should be going on and thought I might be the one to bring those things. Well God confirmed his word that He doesn’t need me by manifesting ALL of those things in that one moment, from the prophetic word, prophetic song, deliverance, to liberty in the atmosphere. It was all manifested right before me and He assured me that I had nothing to do with it.
“For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” Matthew 23:12
“Now I, Emmanuel, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.” Daniel 4:37
“Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things-and the things that are not-to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-29
God desires to use us to have a Jesus-like impact in this earth but know and understand that he doesn’t HAVE to use YOU. Just as King Saul was replaced because he began to care more about the praise of men and God, we too can be replaced if we lose focus of what truly matters. Let my lesson be your lesson. Humble yourself before God so that he does not have to and then he will exalt you in due time. Although no one else knew what was going on, I choose to expose it because I believe that I’m not the only one who has overlooked the issue of pride, no matter how subtle it may seem.
4 comments:
For the last two weeks I've been feeling that humbling myself has been the theme. For me, I feel the prongs of pride go deep! WAY deep! I've been both disgusted, shocked and afraid to really see the depth of my wicked heart!!! In the last week I've seen pride, entitlement, envy, unholiness, rebellion (though with this it's more is more seeing how I got where I am verses walking in rebellion), self centeredness, insecurity and unthankfulness. To me these are all dervived from or work in cohesion with pride! Yuck! It's amazing how we can be "doing the work of the Lord" and outside people tell you how great you are, sweet you are and humble you are! Ha! God sees our hearts!!! As U was in my way home yesterday I said outloud to myself "you are NOT humble!" Ironically because of all this mess I made myself (by the leading of God) a humility workbook! LOL! But seriously! It is encouraging to be able to hear and heed. It takes a lot to admit how nasty we are especially when others around us (because we are gifted) keep telling us we are so great. Or we can appear one way (meek and humble) and maybe NEVER say or do anything aloud that prove otherwise but deep in our hearts; our thoughts we are full of pride. May God have mercy and help us all... Really give us the strength to humble ourselves! God bless bro!
Opps! Typo! After God sees our hearts it should say " As I was on my way home yesterday, I said aloud to myself "you are NOT humble" Sorry about that!
From observation and my own testimony, pride comes in many ways. We call ourselves humble by staying out of the limelight, doing things for others excessively, quietly receiving the praise of men while the whole time our thoughts and heart are wrecked with the idea that "wow... I'm not even really trying and I get praised" or "I'm over that issue; no need for me to bring it to the light" or even "I don't need accountability; God knows everything." In all of this, we exhibit FALSE HUMILITY- thinking of others more highly of ourselves because "it's the right thing to do and I should do it"... not because it's our hearts unquenchable desire to see God strengthen and bless others beyond ourselves, being honored that He even THOUGHT to choose us! It's a death walk that, with each step, reveals more about ourselves. We must pray God gives us the grace to look ourselves through the Holy Spirit's mirror and go through the process of dying. In the end... it will definitely be worth it.
God is so amazing and His power works through us each and every day to ensure that His will for this Earth is completed. I truly appreciate you Emmanuel for creating this blog. As I was surfing facebook, I stumbled upon your page and I am so happy to have clicked on your blog because it has been very refreshing to read.
As I continue my journey and make some very tough decisions’ concerning my career and purposeful vision God has placed in my heart to fulfill, I have been very humbled and blessed every day. God has placed a special desire in my heart to travel globally and solve the problems of poverty throughout the world.
Through my journey I have learned that as we allow God to work through us, we must humble ourselves continually.
Through my journey, I have kept etched in my heart the lessons I have learned from traveling across the rural south and to West Africa. It is my understanding that God places within us special talents, skills, visions and desires that can truly only manifest themselves fully when we humble and submit ourselves to Him completely. I have found that no matter what situation I am in or what place I have visited or even who I have come in contact with; in order for us to truly manifest God’s spirit of grace, holiness, peace, and unmeasureable power, it is all about humility. Humility to use the EAR in our HEART and to fully be obedient to God’s voice and his word. Humility to not judge the life of others but to step in and make a difference because humility connects us to humanity in its purest form. As servants of Christ Jesus, we are purposed to be humble towards God and show humility as we do this great work God has commissioned us to do through our special skills, gifts, and talents He has blessed us with.
On May 8, 2009 I completed a 40-day fast that consisted of no food only 100% juices and water. During this fast although it was a great challenge, I can now say I fully understand what my purpose is and I am submitted to follow his will. During my fast I was urged to pray for Kim Jong-il in North Korea, and for Darfur. I ask that you will join me as I continue praying for these countries and for their obedience to Christ Jesus. Please pray my strength and obedience as well and I look forward to blogging again soon.
Peace and blessings,
Jamilla
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