It's ok to be Weak....A Word to the Fellas

As a young man, it has been blatantly emphasized that men are suppose to be strong and not show weakness; that’s the culture we live in. Life isn’t always peachy-cream and sometimes it’s extremely difficult to be strong but we can’t show weakness because somehow we have associated weakness with loss of respect. I’m reminded of King David, when his son Absalom was killed. Yes, Absalom stole the hearts of the people away from King David but that was still his beloved son, so it hurt when he heard of Absalom’s death.

The king covered his face and cried aloud, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!” 2 Samuel 19:4

The king is hurting and vulnerable, in a weak state. Instead of those around him allowing him to mourn the loss of his son, they basically told him to suck it up or he’ll lose the respect of his men.

Today you have humiliated all your men…now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall.” 2 Samuel 19:5, 7

This is a sad mindset that has not only taken over the minds of men in the world but also men in the church; that the men cannot show weakness or emotion. In working with teenage young men, I hear it all the time. Any male that shows affection, emotion or makes themselves vulnerable are called “gay”, “soft”, “punk” and other words that are no longer in my vocabulary.

In staying with the example of David, look at his life he had no problem showing his emotions. Read through the book of Psalms and listen to how David expresses himself. Christ did not die on the cross for us to keep trying to be strong; he died so we don’t have to try to be strong anymore. I don’t remember what movie it was that I was watching but I remember a scene where the wife had tried for so long to be strong and finally the husband told her she doesn’t have to be strong anymore and there she broke and became weak. I think we as men have a hard time showing others that we are weak. I can personally attest to this because there have been numerous times where I would do things just to prove my “manhood”, knowing that I didn’t agree with or didn’t want to do it.

Fellas, we are the bride of Christ! We must remember where we stand in this relationship; it is a marriage relationship after all. We are the weak one in this relationship. We strive so hard to be strong when on the inside we’re dying for help and Christ is saying, “you don’t have to be strong anymore”... It’s time for a divine exchange!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

We can never tap into the power of Christ until we first become weak. If we’re always trying to be strong then His strength can never invade our lives but the moment we say, “I can’t do it” then His strength is made perfect. 1 Corinthians 1 says that His weakness is stronger than our strength! So can you imagine his strength!! Paul said that he boasts about his weaknesses, he rejoices in the fact that there are some things he does not have the power to do. He does so, not as an excuse but as an open door for Christ to come in and show his strength. When I first learned this I began to confess that I boast about my struggle with pornography because I knew that I did not contain the power to stop watching it but there was one greater in me that was ready to fight for me if I would move out of the way. There are things in our lives that we don’t have the power to change or stop but as long as we keep trying to will it then it’ll never change but when we throw our hands up and say, “God I can’t do it, I need your help!” then he’ll gladly step in.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16

An example that I use in the book that I’m writing is that of tag team wrestling. I used to love watching growing up. When you’ve been in the ring fighting for a while and you’re exhausted, what’s the best thing to do? You look to the corner and see your partner, Jesus, reaching for you to tag him but you say no I want to win it. So you continue to take a pounding until you can take it no longer and crawl to the corner and with all the strength left you reach up and tag Jesus. (How long will you take the beating before allowing him to jump in?) He’s been ready to get in so he jumps in the ring and bounces off the ropes to close line the opponent and quickly pins him. Victory! Jesus is standing just outside the ring, stretching, waiting for you to tag him so he can give you the victory. What are you waiting for?!