We have started 5am prayer back up at my church and it has truly been eye opening and humbling. Yesterday, I was lifting up a few people in particular, my best friend growing up that I had not talked to in years as well as "the fellas" I used to play ball with. I remember shortly after I surrendered my life to Christ back in 2004, having a vision of Lamar and I running for Christ together. We had ran hard in the world together and from that moment I was determined to run with him in the Kingdom so I have been praying for him since then. Before I found out I would be ordained into ministry, I began to believe God that Lamar would be there with me as I gave my initial sermon.
So yesterday afternoon, as I was taking my nap, I had dreams about both Lamar and the "fellas"...
In this one Lamar was outside playing ball in the front yard of my old house with some other guys and I was in the house for whatever reason. I can’t remember if I was in the house doing something or if the dream switched over but next thing I know I was in a police station with some detectives who were working on a case trying to prosecute Lamar for something. This trial wound up being the very reason that brought him back to North Carolina. I was watching the video surveillance with them and listening to them try to strategize against him. There was a video of him walking into a convinence store after some other young men who I guess were friends, nothing happen in the store but then it goes to just outside the store where Lamar had just walked out and a group of guys were jumping someone and Lamar jumps in by kicking the guy in the head while on the ground. I remember the detectives saying this was another case but it wasn’t enough to prove anything so they were ultimately going to have to let him go.
Then I switch back to Lamar outside the house and he’s sitting on the porch and I walk out the door and we’re just outside, not really saying anything. I did tell him about the detectives and the fact that they had nothing to hold him on so he was going to be free in a little while. A little later in the day we’re at, it looks like a ceremony for the crypts gang. There is a line of young men in a long pool where the water is about shoulder deep and they all have on a blue shirt. As I realize what’s going on, I realize that Lamar is already a part of it and he’s kind overseeing things. I try to leave and get him to come with me but he stops me and begins to show me what they’re doing and explaining they’re names as they’re called out. As I watch and he’s talking I see what looks like a baptism of the young men as they are brought into the gang. As I wanted him to not be involved in this life, I didn’t speak and yet he was explaining this life to me. He spoke, I didn’t.I woke up briefly before dozing back off into a second dream. This morning in i-prayer, I began to pray for all my old high school buddies that I played ball with. In the dream I was back in Jacksonville on a visit and one of them called me to see if I wanted to go out to Grant’s Creek to play ball. I went out there but did not take any playing clothes, I think because I knew I couldn’t play because of my exigma. I get there and they are finishing up a game so I’m standing on the sideline watching. When the game is over they go down to the usual corner where the fan is and sit and I stay wherever I was. After the games were over I went and spoke to Mr. Taylor, wanting to share some things that had been going on in my life but people kept pulling him away so eventually I gave up and tried to catch up with the boys. But the boys were no where to be found. They had already left and we never spoke.
As I lay in the bed, now awake I began to ask myself some questions. I’m praying that God would bring Lamar back into my life, I believe he will. When he does, will I share the gospel? Will I tell Lamar about the many many times I’ve prayed for him and how much I want him to be saved so that just as we ran together in the world we can run together in the Kingdom. Or would I just be silent and let him convince me that his life is ok? The same thing with my boys, will I speak to their need of salvation or believe that the external pictures of them enjoying life are sufficient? Am I ready to cross paths with those of my past? Do I completely understand what it is that I am asking God if he was to bring them back? So I'm forced to ask myself and challenge you to do the same, are we ready to face our past? Are we ready to go back to the place we came from and share the greatest gift we ever recieved with those who we know need it? Will we just stop at interceding for them or if presented with the opportunity will we minister to their spirit?
No comments:
Post a Comment